Posted on December 26, 2018 by adminHandle These Feelings Skillfully You may like to consider yourself as a rational being, however, in reality, your life is inspired by emotions. Emotions upset you, drive you, intimidate you, and inspire you. They inspire decisions, move you to action, or paralyze you in anxiety, anxiety, and fear. They are the basis of your finest memories and the bond that produces deep connections with others. In this article, we will explore four principles for working with your emotions and three tips to handle intense feelings like anxiety, anger, and sadness when they threaten to overwhelm you. It is possible to feel anxious one minute, angry the next, and then have waves of sadness flood through you apparently out of nowhere. Because they could take you on such wild rides, it’s natural to be somewhat wary of strong emotions – and do what you can to avoid them or keep them at bay. You have seen what can happen when so-called”negative” emotions like fear, anger, and sadness overwhelm you or others. You have memories of unskillful expressions of those feelings you wish you could forget. Images of emotional trauma are stored deep in your subconscious, warning you to be cautious once you feel these emotions or witness them in different folks. In the face of vulnerable feelings, a more rational approach may feel safer. It’s easier to focus on your thoughts and not venture into the scary world of feelings. Yet, reason has its limits. You may think you’re more rational than you really are. Even though you can rationally weigh alternatives or consider unique thoughts, the final”Yes this” and”Not that” arises from what”feels right.” Even when you’re focused on thinking rather than feeling, in the long run, your decisions and actions are based on your”gut feelings.” Because emotions are so closely connected to decisions and actions, as well as being linked to threatening memories along with your strongest inspirations and social connections, it is important to understand how to manage them skillfully. Let’s explore four principles for relating to emotions in a mindful, intentional, and empowered way. Practicing these principles grows your Emotional Intelligence, which is a skillset for managing emotions well. Four Principles to Deal with Emotions Skillfully The only way out of an emotion is through it. While your first inclination when you are feeling overwhelmed by uncomfortable feelings, such as fear, anger, and sadness, may be to divert yourself, downplay the feeling, or run away, this only causes emotions to go underground, into your subconscious, where they’re saved as strain on your body, eat away at your peace of mind, and finally surface as sickness. Repressed emotions are the basis of compulsions and bad habits, in addition to the source of overwhelm and flareups in relationships. You want to address them. Emotions arise to offer you specific information on what is going on inside you, around you, and with others-and this info will stick with you till it’s acknowledged and heeded. Thus, it’s important to shift your perspective from fear of emotions to viewing them as useful guides. Emotions arise with information you need about your life and the ability to do it on this information. Thus, the number one principle of skillfully handling emotions is to stop ignoring them and pay attention to what they have to show you. What are the sensations going on inside your skin? Especially, notice any areas of present discomfort, since these hold important clues to what you will need to know and do today. If you’re not accustomed to checking in like this, you might not feel much at all or you may feel strong aversion to feeling discomfort. That’s OK. Stay with it. Stay current with whatever feeling or lack of feeling is there. Attention to feelings takes practice. It’s a real art you can learn. Remember, if you don’t listen to what your emotions are trying to tell you, they get stuck on repeat and keep cycling through you. Mindfulness of what you feel changes your connection to it. When intense feelings arise, instead of immediately trying to do something about them, make care to witness, listen to, and feel them. This act of mindfulness brings new neural connections into your habitual emotional patterns which enables them to shift. You bring a layer of consciousness to your emotions which changes how they impact you. Mindfulness prevents you from being”gripped by” your emotions in a manner that”takes you over.” You get freedom and space within and around the feelings you”have,” by realizing that feelings do not define”who you are.” They are simply information about what is happening inside you, around you, and others. 3. Knowing that all feelings are transient is reassuring when emotions run strongly or cycle repetitively. When you shine the light of consciousness on your emotions, you can see what they have to show you, take suitable action, and enable them to release. 4. As soon as you’ve tuned into the sensation of an emotion in your body, ask it what message it’s for you. What is this feeling telling you about how you’re relating to a situation, to yourself, and with others? Given this information, what actions would be useful for others and yourself? Simply notice what comes to mind. Because we are not generally taught to comprehend the significance in emotions, we often overlook, ignore, or avoid their messages. When we do so, emotional energy builds into overblown high drama to receive our attention. It is as if our emotions say,”O.K. you didn’t get the message in my civil indoor voice, so I’m going to yell it in you.” You then feel intense anger, overwhelming sadness, or anxiety that is through the roof. When emotion has amped up to that point, it can be helpful to bring it down a notch to a manageable level. Pause, close your eyes, and take a few slow, deep, gentle breaths. Stop what you’re doing, close your eyes, and concentrate on slow, deep, gentle breathing, in and out through your nose. Closing your eyes and engaging in this type of breathing activates your body’s natural relaxation response, which helps dissipate the pressure, energy, and intensity of powerful emotions. Feel the feeling of the emotion in your body. Notice where the emotion is located in your body. Feel the quality of sensation there. Noticing feelings as sensations helps you witness them objectively, so you obtain space from what you’re feeling. Adopt the mindful perspective of a curious observer and query the emotion as though it is a friend who wants to tell you something important. Bear in mind that Mindfulness means paying attention, on purpose, at the present moment, without judgment. With this mindset, ask your emotion questions, as though it is a friend who is attempting to give you valuable information and you are a scientist seeking discovery. When you follow these suggestions, you shift your perspective and choose the”over-the-top” intense edge from what you’re feeling. Intense anger can downshift into a firm”no,” intense sadness can mellow into”letting go,” and high anxiety can settle into a motivating spur to action. After a feeling has downshifted in intensity, it is easier to listen to it, feel it, and react appropriately. You can take action to deal with the current situation. It is possible to set boundaries, release what no longer serves you, and prepare for uncertain situations. The main point is that, as opposed to fearing the psychological intensity of fear, anger, and sadness, see if you’re able to move toward those feelings with a mindful, inquisitive mindset. As you do that, notice how they change and guide you to what you need to do right now.