Life Is Wasted

Grayscale Photo 2 Person Sitting in a Separate Benches on the Seaside
Waiting for the ideal job. Waiting for the perfect relationship. Waiting for the ideal weather. Andjust waiting for the right email or text response.
Ever waited for something and in hindsight understood how much time was wasted? I know I have and I also know the pain of not being able to recapture those lost minutes, weeks or even years – they were gone forever. However, it is not my intent to be morbid here but to indicate some creative, positive and even risky thoughts on what lies ahead, what is real, what you can control and what can or will elude you no matter how hard you try or how long you wait.
First of all, there are 3 types of waiting – waiting for something to begin, waiting for something to end, or waiting for something to enhance, change or perhaps even recuperate.
But regardless of the waiting or what we might be awaiting the consequences are always the same – frustration, disappointment, regret, fear, and even anger and yes, even more, depending on the size or significance of what we’re waiting for.
Waiting for Mr. or Ms. right before you’re in your seventies isn’t a smart move. Waiting for the right career position after bouncing from job to job for twenty years might get in the way of the right one showing up. Waiting years for a poor relationship to end or for another person to finish it when you know it is not or was not meant to be or wasn’t a smart decision you made can create a whole lot of stress, resentment, and bitterness. Waiting for your kids to finally get the idea of responsibility? Waiting for your workers to eventually have some respect, loyalty or motivation?
Waiting till you retire for the vacation of a lifetime? And then your partner dies before you get to proceed.
Waiting for decades to get a promotion, recognition or increase – well maybe it’s time for a change. Waiting to really live and have fun till you win the lottery, well, you might want to re-think your life goal. Waiting weeks or even months for the right client or customer to appear – well you might want to rethink your sales or marketing strategies.
Need more examples or have I made my point?
Having said all of the above I need to be clear that I am not against waiting – for the right reasons, for the right period of time or for the right, best or suitable outcomes.
Are there common emotions, attitudes or expectations that can lead to a waiting mentality? In my experience, I think there are ten significant ones; hope, fear, want, insecurity, self-esteem, ego needs, impatience, the need for control, dreams and or unhappiness. I don’t have time and I’m sure you don’t either for me to dig into each of these in detail so let me see if I can provide you some summary points to take into account if you’ve been guilty of unnecessary waiting,’re waiting for something now or will, notice I said will and not may, wait for something in the future.
2) fear – or the willingness to confront reality, uncertainty or unknowns in a frequent sense or reality-based way. 3) Ego – or an unhealthy definition of what you feel you deserve, you’re worth, you are worthy of or you do not deserve.
In the long run, waiting in the majority of scenarios is life wasted. The current lifespan typical of Americans is 77.3 years. So, regardless of your age whether you are wasting days, weeks, months or years, in the end, will leave you with memories of regret, resentment, apathy and or disappointment.
Is it worth it? Was it worth it? For me, looking back, sometimes it had been, and, typically, it was not, but that is me.
Here are some things to consider if you’re a”waiter”.
-Create a list of potential profits and losses for whatever you are waiting for. Then weigh them appropriately for both the short and long term.
-Talk with people you respect who have had similar experiences or have insight into what you’re considering waiting for and ask them for guidance. You don’t have to follow it, but it might help you make better decisions.
-Start a decision journal and start keeping track of every decision you’ve made and their results or consequences and I’m not referring here to where you choose to go to lunch or what color dress to buy.
-Meditate on all significant decisions and listen to your inner guidance system’s or spirit’s suggestions or inclinations or anything you want to call it.
-Keep a list of all significant life choices and their eventual outcomes – if and when they ended; such as a business, career, relationship or job.
-Don’t make choices or take actions while under stress or emotional unrest.
-Be willing to admit mistakes.
-Learn to learn from everything regardless of the outcome whether positive or negative.
-Declare psychological endings before starting new beginnings.
-Read the book – Transitions by William Bridges.
These should get you started and, on the way, to better results and less wasted time and life. I can only say in conclusion that I wish I had done many of these earlier in life.

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